sexta-feira, 28 de abril de 2017

WTLO - Season 1: Stuck on you - Chapter 14 - A hurtful trip down memory lane

It's dark. Silent.
His body shivers slightly under the thin covers, but not due to the cool temperature that envelops him.
His head moves slowly to the left and he sighs heavily.
Jay, do you know who you're with?
His lips twitch a little, indecisive between a grimace or a smile. His eyes, under the eyelids, move rapidly while the scene replays.
Jay, do you know who you're with?
With the most important person of my life.
His body stretches, his long legs almost reaching the end of the bed. His free hand clutches the sheet as if his life depends on it, his lips part to allow the release of a weighted breath.
Jay, do you know who you're with?
With the most important person of my life.
His head turns to the right, he sighs again. In his chest his heart is racing, pounding so strongly against his ribs it’s almost painful.
Jasper, what you’re doing?
Shhhh… Just… Let me kiss you… I really want to… Kiss you... Please.
Jay, do you know who you're with?
With the most important person of my life.
Lips meet slowly, hesitantly, behind his closed eyelids. They move languidly together under the heavy haze that keeps him, once again, in that past moment.
Shhhh… Just… Let me kiss you… I really want to… Kiss you... Please.
With the most important person of my life.
In the present, his right hand frees the thin fabric and hovers over his parted lips. They are tingling with the phantom sensation, just as they tingled several days after that kiss. Then they finally decide to stretch in a subtle smile of faint happiness.
He turns his whole body to the right side, sighs and slips deeper into unconsciousness.

sábado, 15 de abril de 2017

WTLO - Season 1: Stuck on you - Chapter 13 - What lies behind it all?

Driving there was tense. I was trying to gather all the right words to be able to transmit what I really meant. There was so much I wanted and needed to say to him, but I couldn’t get to the point of putting my heart out. I had to be careful with what I was going to say (and with how I was going to say it).
I was willing to do what was necessary. I was willing to accept Edward’s feelings for my sister, to give him my endorsement and to deal with their relationship once it got to that. I was also willing to beg him, if needed, to forgive my terrible behaviour in the last couple of months, in special the last weekend.
I was willing to do everything in my power to convince him that he didn't have to move away from me. I was willing to show him that I still was the first person he could count on, that I was still his best friend, that he could still trust me, and that I had not transformed into the mindless selfish jerk I had seemed to be lately. I was still the boy he grew up with and knew damn well.
I was also prepared to face the struggle that I was about to compromise with. I knew how difficult it would be to keep my feelings for him in secret, to pretend they didn’t exist, to restrain them so he wouldn’t know. But I was doing that, for sure. I was going to put all my strength and effort in learning how to behave as normally as possible around him, as if the love I felt for him was much simpler than it really was.
Yeah, I was doing that. That was the only way to keep what I had, that was all I could ever get from him. His friendship, his presence in my life. I was going to stick to that so I could go on. I had a terrible sensation that my feelings for Edward would never change, but I was young, I  had much to live yet, I didn’t know what the future held for me, things could take a different turn, I just had to be patient and settle with what was possible for me to have by then.
I heaved a sigh and trapped my lower lip between my teeth. As I approached my neighborhood I got more and more nervous.
I thought I had a little more time to get ready for that. But of course getting at Edward’s house would be fast. Getting into the house and talking to him was what would never be so simple. Not after what I'd done.
I parked my car outside, something really unusual, but given the situation, it was better to be careful. I knew pretty well we were not in good terms, so I wasn't sure I was allowed in the house.
Instead of entering straight through the gate, I took a deep breath and rang the bell. Then I waited.
My heart was racing, and I was kinda fidgeting. I knew that soon I would be trembling slightly, but I hung in there.

segunda-feira, 10 de abril de 2017

WTLO - Season 1: Stuck on you - Chapter 12 - Never let this go

I was decided.
I would close my eyes and jump head first and then I would worry about whatever came to me.
I was willing to swallow the pain I would feel, no matter how strong it would be, just to make amends and fix the shit I had made.
I was going to apologize to Edward, tell him I was wrong, I was crazy, I had lost my mind over nothing, I was being a jerk, an ass, a terrible friend. I would ask for his forgiveness, tell him that I was actually OK with him dating my sister and assure him that what had transpired between us would never happen again.
I knew that it would be the hardest thing to do, be around him while he dated my sister, facing the fact that we would always be friends but never more than that. It would crush me a little every day, but I guessed I could deal with it with some effort. The only thing I couldn’t deal with was his absence. I wouldn’t bear to be away from Edward anymore. I was certain of that and it was time for me to be a man and work with what I had. I had his friendship. A friendship that meant more than anything else in my life. His friendship was the most important thing I had and I wasn’t prepared to lose it. So I decided I would fight for it.
I was decided.
I just needed an opportunity.

quarta-feira, 5 de abril de 2017

WTLO - Season 1: Stuck on you - Suplement 1 - Resolve

The father sighed softly from the armchair he was sitting on in his home office. Observing carefully his beloved only son, who was sitting in the chair behind the full-of-medical-books-and-reports desk, he could assimilate that the young man wasn’t better at all. The older man could read perfectly, in the slump of his son’s shoulders, the sense of defeat he was carrying around inside him.
The young man was decided. His resolve was settled and, as a mature young adult as he was, he took matters into his own hands. The father didn’t agree with his decision, but there wasn’t much he could do. He tried to talk the young man out of it. He tried to make him see that this was just an escape and not an alternative, but his son, obviously blinded by the hurt he was clearly feeling, dismissed the older man’s arguments with his characteristic clever observations.
“Thank you, Mister Ackerley. I will discuss the arrangements with my father next, and, at the latest, tomorrow evening, I will be returning to you with the date of my arrival.” The young man spoke on the phone, in a emotionless tone, to the person on the other end of the line.
The father sighed heavily this time. His opinion on his son’s decision was stern. He was making a mistake.
The young man released a puff of air as soon as he hung up the phone. Folding one of his long arms on the desk, the one that was free of the arm sling, and soon after resting his forehead on it, he closed his eyes forcefully, trying vainly to ease the sting of the imminent tears.

terça-feira, 4 de abril de 2017

WTLO - Season 1: Stuck on you - Chapter 11 - In time you'll see the truth

Four days passed. Four days of early morning breakfasts with only my mom in comfortable silence. Four days of speaking only the extremely necessary with my sister and making her obviously puzzled by my behavior. Four days of early arrivals at the library and late departures from work, just ‘cause I needed to be busy and distracted the most I could. Four days without answering my friends’ calls and texts to avoid the questions and the probable pressure they would have made. Four days of pretending to myself everything was good, it was all OK, I was fine, I was hanging in there.
Four days of sleepless nights. Four days of silence...
Four days without Edward.
I exhaled loudly and threw the small rock I had been holding towards the lake.
I was so fucking tired of hiding… ‘Cause that was what I was doing, right? I was hiding from reality, from my friends, from Edward. I was avoiding what I had to do, I was trying hard to skip something I couldn’t for much longer. I had to face everybody and I had to face my life and the way it was gonna be from then on without Edward’s presence.
I had to deal with a lot of stuff, the most important and pressing one being how I would tell my father that Edward and I couldn’t share an apartment anymore.
But I was postponing everything. I was simply kicking the can down the road. And the reason I was doing that? I knew it was only a matter of time before I succumbed.
I didn’t want to be away from him… I didn’t want to give up on our plans for college. I didn’t want to keep my decision in staying away.
I was actually fighting against myself. ‘Cause I knew that the best way to maintain myself sane was keeping myself away from Edward. That was the rational, the logical and the smart thing to do. This way I wouldn’t hurt myself and him in the process, this way I was sparing us both. But my heart simply disagreed with me and fuck if my heart wasn’t a damn very good and loud brawler.